Novel sample essay 2

"A brave man is not he who doesn't feel afraid, but he who conquers the fear". With close reference to the text, describe how this is portrayed by one of the characters and explain how this quality would benefit you.

          "A brave man is not he who doesn't feel afraid, but he who conquers fear". Based on the novel Dear Mr Kilmer written by Anne Schraff, the character who portrayed the statement is Richard Knight and the benefit I can get from this quality is to overcome fear.

          Every living things experience fear. Fear can be caused by da ger or by one's thinking. We need to keep in our mind that danger is real and fear is a choice. Richard Lnight is a character who portrayed the text above. As a prove, we know that in the beginning of the novel, Richard hid his interest towards poem. He didn't tell his family nor his own friends. Richard was afraid if he told them about it, he will be labelled as a sissy person, he thinks so. He started to make friends with Joyce Kilmer. Mr Joyce Kilmer was the person who encouraged him to tell others about his interest including his teacher, Mrs Hansen. It took some time for Richard to build up the truth about his interest to his family and his friends. Richard then felt satisfied with himself and feel more confident after telling his interest in poem to others. This tells us that, to succeed and become a better person, we need to be a brave person.

          Bravery is a quality that we need to have in ourselves. This is because of the benefits that can help us become a better person. For example, we can overcome our fear. By fear, it can be about danger or anything else. We need to overcome fear to keep moving forward. Stage fright is a common thing that happens to people around the world. Feeling scared to talk in front of people. If we are afraid to tell our feeling or our own idea, people will think that we are useless and a corward. This tells us that it is a need to be brave.

          To conclude, we need to build up courage in ourselves to be a proper human being who is always useful to the other creatures. This novel can be a proof and inspire ourselves to be so.

Essay written by:
1. Mohd Hazim Bin Hamardi
2. Mohd Naqib
3. Mohd Syahmi Izani

Novel Sample Essay

People are afraid of what they don’t understand. How far is this statement true? Support your answer with close reference to the text.

          People are afraid of what they do not understand because they don’t want to learn and accept the truth of something that had happened. Since people are different, they have different opinion. We can see this situation happening in the novel when Hannah and her family had been treated badly by some of the Turtle Lake’s villagers. They don’t understand that the Schermers were patriotic Americans. Instead, they perceived them as siding with German and became afraid of them.

          In the beginning of the story, the writer wrote that Hannah has German blood running in her veins but she was born in Milwaukee, America. Her familym the Schermers is such a kind and nice family. Before the war started, the villagers treated them nicely, but everything changed when the war started. The villagers treated them badly and did terrible things such as vandalising the tavern and boycotting them. Fortunately, some villagers who think differently towards the Schermers helped them and continued treating them warmly. For example, some villagers painted the Schermer’s tavern with white painting to cover the words ‘DIRTY HUN’. This act helps the Schermers to feel better.

          In another event at school, Mrs Hansen asked her students who were Hannah’s classmates to a sympathy card to express their regrets of what had happened. The popular kids said they didn’t want to sign the card as they thought the Schermers want the war to end with German’s victory. They even warned the whole class to not sign the card. Richard who had a different idea of the Schermers signed the card bravely. He knew some nice kids want to do the same, but they were too afraid of the troublemakers. After the school ended, Richard write something on the card with hope that it will make them feel better and sent it to the Schermers personally.

          On another day, Mrs Hansen made an essay competition to pick the winners for a beauty pageant competition in accordance to a Patriotic program. Hannah won the best essay for girls and was asked to read her essay out loud in front of the classroom. When she was done, no one clapped except for Richard. Even though her essay was brilliant, no one acknowledged her talent. As the winner, Hannah will play the Lady Liberty’s role while Richard will be Doughboy. Some parents went to school to show their protest towards Mrs Hansen’s decision. They absent-mindedly thought that it wouldn’t be patriotic for Hannah to play a significant role in the Patriotic Program.

          All the three events that I have written has proved that the people in Turtle Lake were aggressive towards the Schermers family because they do not understand the truth. Simply relating them to the Germans is a bit unfair, since Otto himself is fighting for America. If they are not patriotic, he sould not volunteer to be an American soldier. Because of the misunderstanding, they resort to violence and treated the Schermers’ family ver badly. Huns are nomadic, Mongolian horsemen who eventually overrun much of Europe. They have nothing to do with present-day Germans. Mr Higby has explained that in class but everyone refused to accept the truth. They wanted to put the blame and hatred on someone. The Schermers family became the scapegoat to their hatred.

          We can see that the current issue in te global world is very similar to what is written in the novel. People nowadays are also afraid of what they do not understand. For example, when Muslims defend their country, they are called terrorists. When Muslim students further their study to United States of America, they were afraid of the Muslim students and lavel them as terrorist. They do not understand that prejudice caused them to be afraid of something that does not happen. Their mind is poisoned by the potrayal in the media. When non-muslims attack other country, they are called heroes and the citizens aren’t afraid because they perceive that action as defending their country.

          To sum up, we need to learn to understand a situation so that we won’t misjudge. As the saying goes, don’t judge a book by its cover. We need to study the truth so that we won’t hurt innocent people and always think positively. Hurting others for our own satisfaction won’t solve a problem. We should not be like Abner and Harry. For those who do understand, should stay and give encouragement, just like what Richard did to Hannah.

Essay written by :
1. Nurzarifah Hanim Bt Abdul Zahari
2. Hidayatunnisa
3. Laila Nur Baraqah Bt Rosdi
4. Syahidah Syahirah
5. Nurul Rabwah Bt Shaharuddin

Coming to you soon

Form 5 students of SMAD KLANA

25th March 2018

Based on the novel Dear Mr Kilmer by Anne Schraff 

What is drama but life with the dull bits cut out - Alfred Hitchcock

Hello 2018

It's still not too late for me to welcome 2018 right? I know it has been three weeks, but well, you know what they say - better late than never. This is the year where I did not actually have any resolutions to fulfill, because let's be honest - it never works! No matter how many times you say "it's a new year, let's start fresh!" you still end up not fulfilling your resolutions eventually. I sound like a bitter person, but that's just me being realistic.

The end of 2017 made me realise some new things that I could look forward to. For example, the joy of reading a book. You cannot believe how rare it is for me to pick up a book and just leisurely read these days. If I'm not working, I'll be playing games or scrolling any social media. That has caused my reading habit to deteriorate significantly. Then I discovered the wonders of Haruki Murakami and it reminded me of the simple joy in reading. I wanted to cry and share to every Haruki Murakami readers how much I could relate to his writings. It's like I fell in love with reading, all over again.

That, brought me to my second discovery - I can write, when I'm not pressured to do so. I remember a day in 2017 when I finally did not have any deadlines to fulfill. I told myself I'd use the weekend to write. There I was, on my bedroom floor, staring at my laptop and no words came out. I even forced myself to type nothing, but to no avail. It was freaking frustrating. Then I actually gave up trying to write. December came and I'm finally free. No papers to mark, no vacations to look forward to. I tried writing again and it flowed out naturally. Revelation - pressure is not good for inspiration. How do writers ever fulfill their deadline if my logic is true?

And finally I realise that all that matters are the relationships that I've built and will continue to seek. So I came to the conclusion of looking forward to these 3 things instead of listing down a few new year's resolution. They sound like resolutions, but they're just a bunch of things that I love and will continue to love. Back then resolutions used to be about gearing myself up to be a better me. Well it's not that I am finally a newly improved version of myself. I guess what it means is, I finally found the calling to enjoy my time walking instead of running to reach the end.

So here's to everyone who does not have any resolution in 2018 - may the year turns out great for you! To my students, I'm blogging again and can't wait to read yours. I hope you'll enjoy this journey. I have found new things about myself while blogging back then. I hope you'd be able to experience good things while blogging as well. Or, if it's the opposite, I hope it makes you wise and more mature in the future.

  

Sample Essay

Write a composition of about 350 words on one of the following topics.

1.      Describe ways to make school a fun place for students.

2.      Completing your first degree is no longer enough to secure a good job. Discuss.

 3.      Write about the advantages and disadvantages of taking selfies.

4.      Write an account of an incident that you witnessed while jogging.

Begin your story with: ‘I couldn’t believe my eyes …’

5.      ‘Where there’s a will, there’s a way.’

Describe how this proverb has affected your life. 

Section B  (Question 4)

 I couldn’t believe my eyes. He was standing there, with a bunch of balloons in his hands, spreading him arms as if he was about to hug the child in front of him. My pace slowed down till I halted. That man standing in front of me, was he really the person I thought he was? He still had that charming smile on his face, his hair was still dark and brown, his suit still looked expensive, his height made people look like dwarves and that small dimple still appeared at his left cheek. It was him. It was really him. I dazed and my heartbeat was still beating fast from the jog. The heartbeat didn’t matter. What mattered was the painful ache I felt in my heart as I watched him happily playing with the child. The child could not be any older than three years old. Was that his daughter? I wondered to myself even though I knew the answer was crystal clear. Who else could it be? 

I didn’t notice when the teardrop fell to my cheeks. I didn’t realise my breathing was uneven. All I knew was it suddenly felt painful to breathe oxygen into my lungs. The normal act of breathing which happened so naturally every day, suddenly became complicated. I fell to my knees, my hands clasping the shirt I was wearing. I tried to calm down but it was so hard. All I felt was pain. Every single air that I breathed in felt like knife poking my lungs. What was going on with me? I could not even open my eyes. My vision darkened. 

“She’s having a panic attack!” I heard someone scream.

            I have only heard of hyperventilation before. I never imagined I would experience it. I could not take the pressure anymore. I felt like every breath I took did not supply any oxygen to my body. I stopped trying to fight. Maybe dying was not such a bad thing. The pain would stop right? Or so I thought. Apparently God decided it was not time for me to leave yet. I opened my eyes slowly and the first thing that I felt was how hoarse my throat was. I felt a hand passing a bottle of water to me. I drank it without waiting for a second to pass. And then I looked up to thank the person. I wish I didn’t; because now I could not run. He looked at me with a worried look on his face.

“Are you okay?” he asked. 

            I wanted to die that instant. How was I supposed to answer that question? Should I stay quiet? Should I open up the things I kept in my heart for the past nine years? Should I scream to his face and tell him he was the reason I was in pain? Should I just break down and let all the tears that I held inside flow out? Should I smack him hard? Should I just give him a smirk? Should I lie? All these questions floated in my mind and I uttered a single reply,

“I’m okay, thanks”.

            I tried to stand so that I could walk away. I could not see his face any longer but how I despised myself at that moment. As much as I felt a strong hatred towards this man in front of me, I also wanted to run into his arms, hug him, cry and say that I miss him. I miss him every second of my life. I miss him during breakfast, lunch and dinner. I miss him every time I see a father spending time with his daughter. I miss having him in my life. But I could not bring him back. I could not make my father be a father to me. He stopped becoming that the day he walked out of my life with his new wife.  

            I ran so that he could not catch me. I did not want him to notice it was me. It has been nine years; I wouldn’t be surprised if he did not know it was me. I was only six when he walked out of the house. I did not understand what was going on. I waved goodbye to him, not knowing that was the last day he set foot on that ground. After that I waited for him every day. I asked my mom again and again and she just said he was not coming back. He has a new life and I am no longer part of it. How could I digest all that when I was six? I grew to hate my mom. I hated her for not stopping my dad from leaving. I hated her for not trying hard enough. I had no idea the pain that she felt at that time.

            And then I grew up. I started to hate going to any social events. Birthdays, parties, sports day – it all reminded me that I was fatherless. I could never blame all these people around me. I could never get angry when Alice’s father immediately ran to her when she fell during the school marathon. I could not complain when Stacy’s father took a day leave from work to be with her on her birthday. I could not be jealous with Tania while she wrote letters with her father because he was in army. I could only be happy for them and long for it again and again. I long to be given just one chance to feel a father’s love again. Just one chance, but I was real enough to know it was just a dream that would never come true.

            Mom had a conference there. That’s why I was staying miles away from home. We were supposed to be there for a week. I accompanied her since it was school holiday. I never expect to see my father in the park. One day I saw the melancholy in my mom’s eyes and I knew I should stop blaming her for everything that happened nine years ago. It was hard enough to lose a husband, I should not be the daughter who hated her mom. That day I learned to be on my mother’s side. I have to be strong for her, who stayed in my life and never walked away. I grew to be protective of her. That’s why it hurts so much when I wanted to run into his embrace. I could not betray my mom. 

            I looked at my father from afar, hoping that he would not notice me. He played with his daughter with the balloons that he bought. I have always loved balloons. God finally answered my prayer. He was finally there, right in front of me. And he was euphoric. You could never escape from noticing that. He loved his new family so much. I let the tears stream down to my cheeks. There was no use holding it in anymore. I was erupting with emotions and crying was the only way to express the pain. This had to be God’s answer to my questions. I should really stop hoping that he would come back into my life. 

            I wiped my tears and turned around. The forlorn in my heart would never disappear, I understood that finally. I did not register myself to be a sad sack, but I would reign myself to overcome it. I guess this meeting was a closure. A closure that God had given me. I walked away from him, leaving all the memories and hopes that I built behind me. I did not want to push him from cloud nine. I would rather move on and accept the fact that he would no longer be part of my life. Through every foot step I took, I said goodbye. When I finally reached home to my mom, I hugged her and told her I love her. She looked at me with a weird expression on her face. I wish I could tell her what happened, but I did not want her to feel the pain that I felt. So I just said, “I was hoping you could cook my favourite food today” and she laughed. She had no idea...  

VOCABULARIES & IDIOMS
1. hyperventilation - the state of breathing faster than necessary
2. sad sack - an inept, blundering person (idiom)
3. cloud nine - a feeling of extreme happiness (idiom)
4. Closure - an occurrence that signifies an ending

Butterfly

Taare Zameen Par

Stars on earth. 

In this Hindi movie directed, produced and acted by Aamir Khan, each child in this world is referred to as "Stars". That's why the title of the movie is 'Stars on Earth'. When was the last time you stargazed? I just did a few minutes ago. Have you ever noticed how beautiful the skies are at night? Accompanied and manifested by the moon and stars, it's so breathtakingly beautiful, you wouldn't want the sun to rise so soon. Just when you thought the day has turned dark and gloomy, the stars and moon shine from above. How beautiful, how special, how wonderful. It's like a gift from God.

To describe each children in this world as stars, is to tell them how special they are. Yes, each child is special. How can they not be? They are the voice of tomorrow. They are our hope for a better future. Yet, they are stamped, crushed and wrapped in boxes just like products are made in factories. The bad products or better known as "defect manufacture" will be thrown and tossed aside while the rest will be ready to go into the market. What happen to those "defect manufacture"? Are they not worthy of a second choice? No, according to stakeholders. We have so many valuable products with high quality and value, why should we care for the "defect manufacture"?

What if you are the "defect manufacture"? What if one day, somebody decides you're not good enough? You don't have a value because you have nothing to offer to the world. What happens to you? Is it the end for you? The answer is No. Thanks to Aamir Khan, we can all breathe an air of relief because the world is not just about the big race. Starting from 3 Idiots to this movie, he is educating people movie by movie, about living life to the fullest and not caring about the mainstream idea that once you fail, you lose forever. We each have our own specialty, and we each have to be proud of who we are.

Before watching this movie, I never knew about Dyslexia. Dyslexia is a reading disorder. Both children and adult can have dyslexia, depending on different reasons. Adults usually have it after a traumatic brain injury, stroke or dementia while children might have it due to genetic and environmental factors. Simply put, people with dyslexia struggle to recognise and differentiate characters, causing them difficulty to read. Once reading is interrupted, it's harder for them to catch up on other subjects as well. People who do not know about Dyslexia often label these children as 'problematic', 'not trying hard enough' and 'having attitude problem'. How can a child like you survive in the real world? You can't even pass basic Math or English. Or so they say.

I have always believed that movie is a good way of educating people. This movie speaks for me. Every child is special. No matter what grade you get in school, you are special. Don't ever label yourself based on the result on your examination paper. What is written on the paper does not define your value. You are much more valuable than the grade on the paper. Even if you get straight As, it doesn't give you a guarantee that you will survive in the real world. Not everyone is born to be an academician. Some are good in music, some excel in language. We don't have to be the same as everyone else. We are special in our own way. :)

P/s : If you haven't watched the movie, get out of your shell and watch it!       

Out the Window

What were you thinking
When you looked out the window?
Was it the clear blue sky?
Or the beautiful green hills?
Maybe it was the tree
Or how calm you felt while looking at them all

What were you thinking
When you looked out the window?
Was it the awkward moments we had?
Or the unspoken words you said?
Maybe it was the silence of the room
Or how stagnant things were all the time

What were you thinking
When you looked out the window?
Was it the voices you hear in your head?
Or the thoughts that constantly kills you?
Maybe it was the feelings of others
Or how they made you feel torn in between

What were you thinking
When you looked out the window?
Do you notice me looking at you?
Or were you too absorbed with the nature?
Did it matter that I was next to you?
Or did you hope I was not there?

I was so happy that morning
I woke up from my sleep and you were there
Cooking quietly while facing the forest
My happy pill wasn't smiling or laughing
But I was happy beyond words could ever describe
I whispered to an angel these words,
"I am so happy. Thank you so much"
To which the angel replied,
"This is all I can do for you. Thanks for helping me"

What were you thinking
With that beautiful mind of yours?
Has the beauty of the moon awed you away from the stars?
Do the stars still mean the same to you?
Are you crying while looking at the sky?
Just as I am when it's raining?
Why is the sky crying as I type these words,
As if understanding what I'm feeling right now?

What were you thinking,
When you looked out the window?
I wondered again and again.

The Chosen Ones

You are the chosen ones

You are chosen by God to go through this tide

It's not an easy ride

It's harder than a bumpy ride

Eyes staring, people judging, words hurting

You are the chosen ones

God knows you are strong enough to go through this

That's why He made you experience it

He brings you to it, He will bring you through it

You just need to find Him

Find Him in your prostration, 

Find Him in your prayers,

Find Him in your tears and sadness.

You are the chosen ones

God is telling you that He loves you

He is waiting and longing for your prayers

Answer Him

Answer Him and seek forgiveness

You are the chosen ones

You learn a big lesson through experience

You fall hard on the floor

While people are standing, you are lying down

Defeated and helpless

But fear not

Life is a moving wheel

Sometimes you are at the top

Sometimes you are at the bottom

You just need to climb

Climb back to the top and proclaim your right

You will always have a choice

And God will never stop testing you

You are the chosen ones my dear

Don't be discouraged

Your journey has only begun

It's too early to give up

Learn, cry, stand up again

Life is full of surprises

But don't ever forget this,

You are the chosen ones..

Come to me

Through every tear drops,
That fell on your cheeks,
My heart aches in pain,
As if it's being stabbed,
With a knife.

Through every words that you utter
My ears listened,
But my heart swells in agony.
My fist wanted to punch the wall
Or rather the person who hurt you
My mouth wanted to swear
But it stayed zipped in anger
My conscience wanted to shout
But it remained silent and calm.

I looked into your eyes
And see pain intoxicating it
Your heart must be suffering
For the tears were too many
I wanted to hug you
To make the tears stop falling
But I was afraid of your reaction
So I stayed still and quietly

If only I could take the pain away
If only the burden could be lessened
If only I could heal the scars
But I'm just me and I don't have the power
So all I can do now is pray for you
Pray that your heart stays strong
Pray that you would be free someday
Pray that you could be happy again
And find the pieces of yourself
That was lost throughout time

And just in case,
You could not find the strength,
Or it became too strong to bear,
As I said before,
I am always here for you, 24/7
I can never solve the puzzle
But I can accompany you
All you have to do,
Is come to me.

Photo Poetry

We were on our way to the beach

I looked above and see the clouds

Beautifully scattered and the sky so blue

It brought joy to my heart

So I captured these images

And showed it to her later.

Surprised with the beauty,

She asked me where did I get

That picturesque view

I told her it was above us

Throughout the journey

She didn't notice them at all.

Darling people are like that

Something so beautiful can be right under their nose

And they wouldn't notice 

Because they see with their eyes,

Not their heart

So don't worry if people don't notice you

Those who do, saw you, with their heart

And that matters more

Monster

It’s been a while since we’ve met
Your face looks good
You got prettier, you were always beautiful in my eyes

But today you look a bit different
You look especially a bit cold
Your eyes that look at me are filled with pity
In front of you, I seem smaller

I tried to be fine, trying to change the subject
Though I had so much I wanted to ask you

You cut me off right away
Your long hair flowing

As it hit my cheek and passed away
You turn away and left right away

If I try to catch you here, would that be too ridiculous?

Nothing comes to my mind
As you tremble, you take a step, two steps back
You say that I scare you now
You’re like a moon that makes me go crazy

I love you baby I’m not a monster
You know how I was in the past
When time passes, it’ll all disappear
Then you will know baby

I need you baby I’m not a monster
You know me so don’t leave like this
If even you throw me away, I will die
I’m not a monster

No matter what happens, let’s be forever
When we’re sad, when we’re happy, let’s go till the end
You don’t say that tomorrow
Let’s love like today is the last

A life without you is like an imprisonment for life
An extinction from the world to the point where I’d go crazy
Your existence is a chronic disease, a repetition of pain
You’re a lingering attachment in my heart

The people of the world have turned their backs against me
The corners of their eyes are all twisted up
The greatest pain to me,
Is the fact that you became the same as them

I love you baby I’m not a monster
You know how I was in the past
When time passes, it’ll all disappear
Then you will know baby

I need you baby I’m not a monster
You know me so don’t leave like this
If even you throw me away, I will die
I’m not a monster

Don’t go, don’t go, don’t go, don’t leave me
Don’t do it, don’t do it, don’t do it, it’s not like you
Getting farther away, love is breaking apart

Don’t find me, don’t find me, don’t find me, don’t look for me
The last, last, last image
 of me in front of you, Remember that, Don’t forget me

I love you baby I’m not a monster
You know how I was in the past
When time passes, it’ll all disappear
Then you will know baby

I need you baby I’m not a monster
You know me so don’t leave like this
If even you throw me away, I will die
I’m not a monster

I think I’m sick I think I’m sick
I think I’m sick I think I’m sick

Have you ever realised how poetic lyrics can be? Understanding it literally would make this poem a fictional one. The kind of monster being described in this song does not exist in the real world. But look at it figuratively, and we immediately know that everyone can relate to this. The fact is, there is a monster in each and every one of us. Some are just hiding the monster better than the rest. We all crave to be accepted despite being a monster. That's why this song will always get to me. 

Short Story

 Road Back to Reality

"Hello?! Are you paying or not?" the bus driver brought me back to reality.

"How much Uncle?" He's not really my uncle. We Malaysians refer to strangers with such names.

"Where you going?" I have no idea honestly. I made a stupid face hoping that he'd help me out. He didn't. The bus conductor did. He told me the furthest place the bus travels. Money exchanged hands and I walked to the end of the bus, minding my own business.

          I didn't even know where the bus was heading to. Yet I was on it, going to God knows where. I didn't have anywhere to go. I just wanted to leave. No notes behind, no letters, no explanation whatsoever. I just decided and walked out of my house. Wait, not my house. My parents' house. I didn't even pack my clothes. No one would have guessed I left. My completed homework arranged neatly on the desk, my dirty clothes stayed in the rag, my clothes ready for school tomorrow. Nothing was absurd. The only missing entity in the room was me. I could bet on my life no one would notice I wasn't around. Not even mak and ayah. Why would they notice? They were always busy looking after my younger siblings. Ayah was always at the mosque. Mak was always nagging and shouting.

          A couple caught my attention. The girl looked at the boy with gleaming eyes as if he's the most handsome lad on earth. They boy acted tough by talking about things as if he knew everything. These kids could not have been any older than ten-year-olds. Yet they're behaving like teenagers who just fell in love. Do kids these days really know how to be a kid anymore? They were supposed to be playing police and thief instead of being in monkey love so soon. What do they know about love? Having a crush should be the biggest thing they go through with the opposite sex. What's with this talk about valentines day and presents? It looked amusing and scary at the same time. Before she knew it, all her false perceptions on love will shatter and she will be crying for hours in her room.

          "Go and advise your sister. I can't stand her drama anymore!" Mak's yelling had always been a buzz on my ears. What did she do now? I had no idea. I knocked several times knowing how important 'privacy' was for her. I kicked the door to scare her. She still did not respond.

"Adik! I'm coming in!" Tissues everywhere, headphone on her ears and her hands were scribbling something in her diary. I had always been a light footer. She would never notice me walking behind her. I peeked through her scribbles trying to understand what was going on. Poetry. A good way to express one's emotion. The pages of her diary were wet. I looked around again and saw torn pictures on the floor. I don't think she would be in the mood to talk to me so I left her room.

'Adik'
'Mende jgn kacau lah'
'Why are you moping alone in your room?'
'Leave me alone. Nobody understands'
'Try me'
'I just wanna be alone. Go away'
'I give you 3 days. After that stop crying, stop thinking, stop being sad. Move on.'
'3 days is not enough'
'I don't care. Mak is worried sick about you. Stop making her worried.'
'Abang'
'Apa?'
'It hurts like hell'
'Serves you right' I knew that was a bit harsh. But I did it anyway. She was supposed to focus on her studies. What made her think she can handle being in love? She stayed silent for a few seconds. Our whatsapp conversation seemed like it would end there. Then I sent another reply.
'Return back to Allah, tu pun nak kena ajar ke?'
'(T.T) Thank you Abang'

          At least my sister was in Form 4. These kids in front of me, they're still in primary school. My sister was sixteen, and she definitely took more than 3 days to get over it. She looked normal after 3 days but I knew she was just pretending in front of everyone. I heard her tears in the middle of the night. In her sujud, she cried and poured everything to God. At least she's doing that instead of harming herself or wasting her time doing stupid things. Will the girl in front of me be able to do the same? I felt angry for nothing. She's not even my relative and I became this concerned. I wonder how her mother would feel knowing about this? Or perhaps she was the modern type who supports these kinda things? I have always been conservative. Maybe that's why it's bothering me so much.

          I looked out the window, not wanting to engross myself with the kids in front of me. The sky was very solemn on that day, just like my heart. The grumbles were a warning that they sky might not be able to hold back its tears today. Dear sky, don't cry. Please don't. The window that I'm leaning on is not working. I won't be able to close it. I don't want to get wet. Please hold your tears until I reach my destination. I don't even have other clothes to change if I get wet. And, a few seconds after that a heavy downpour fell. Right into my window. I hate you sky. I really hate you.

          The bus conductor came and helped close the window. "Tingkap ni dah berkarat. Sebab tu ketat sikit. Tapi boleh tutup ni. Tolong sekali, nanti makin basah". It felt like a useless thing to do. We gave it our all and the window did not budge an inch. I was about to give-up when it finally moved upward, following the direction of our push. "Ha boleh pun. Buat kerja sama-sama kan cepat dapat hasil" I smiled at him. Of all the buses, why did I have to pick this bus? I could have entered a bus with air-conditioner, but no, I picked a mini bus! And look what happened to me? "Abang, jauh lagi ke?" "Lagi setengah jam sampai la" Great! Another half an hour in this mini bus and I'll be away from home.

          I glanced at my watch. I have only been away for an hour. My brothers and sisters would be back from school by now. They will think that I'm studying quietly inside. No one will notice I was miles away. I do that during every examination. I will isolate myself from my siblings. As if finding peace to study. I said as if because I can still hear their fights and screams through the door. At least they won't pester me. That's the only difference. Will they be worried if they realise I was gone? Will my mom cry? Those are just insignificant matters. The real question is, Do I matter in their life? Will their life change without me? Is this why I'm running away? To get the answers to these questions? My train of thought was interrupted by the buzz of my phone.

'Where are you?' I knew my younger sister would notice.
'Somewhere'
'Kata nak ajar add math'
'I left the notes on my table'
'I'll ask you if I don't understand later'

          She wouldn't ask me. She's a smart girl, she understands my notes. If she did text me again, it would be because she's worried. She knew something's off but she didn't want to freak out. I knew her that much.
 
'Ei mengada la. Abg pergi mana ni? Gila ke?'  

          I can't help but to let out a chuckle. See. I knew she's worried.

'I'm still in Malaysia. Just need to get away for a while'
'Why? What happened?'
'Nothing happened. I just need to find some answers' 
'Why travel so far when you could just do istikharah?'

          That startled me. I used to be the one who advises her. Now my younger sister is returning back the advices to me. I won't deny it, I feel embarrassed with her. I should be a good role model to her but here I am, running away from home. I can't turn back. My heart was set and no one could stop me.

'Don't tell Mak. She'll be worried. I'm fine honestly. Take care, Adik'
'I really wanna kick your ass right now but I'll save that to when you come back. You better come back or I'll find you and make sure you regret your decision'   
'Oooooh takutnya. I have a black belt Adik, jangan berangan!'
'Don't underestimate me. I know your weak point. Takyah belajar silat pun tau'
'That's cheating and God hates cheaters'
'I hate you. If you don't come back I won't forgive you'

          First question answered. Do I really need to find all the answers today? Will I be able to get the answers? I jolted to the front as the bus stopped. Everyone got up. I guess this is the last stop for today. The call of prayers set me back to melancholy. I searched for a nearby mosque to perform my Maghrib prayer. After praying, I stayed to listen to the Tazkirah by the Imaam. He talked about mothers. Just when I'm being an imbecile, the Imaam talked about mothers? It hit me right through the core. What was I thinking running away from home? She must be worried sick if she knew I was gone. A shed of tear fell as I thought of all the hardships my mom had to go through in order to raise us up. How could I do this to her?

          After Isya' prayer the jemaah invited  me to have supper together. I felt so welcomed around them. They talked about life and I just sat there, observing everyone in silence. I saw a mother feeding her child and was reminded of my mom. I had everything that I needed in this world. A house to live in, a parents, siblings, what else do I want? An old man patted my back and spoke to me, "Young man, you look troubled. What's bothering you?" I was surprised that he spoke to me in English. "Why? Can't an old man speak English to a young lad like you?" I smiled. Could he read my mind?

"I ran away from home" He looked deep into my eyes in disbelief.
"And why is that?" I don't have the answer. I just wanted to run away. My eyes started to water.
"I heard my mom and dad talking last night. My dad got into trouble again. People are searching for him because of his debt. I can't imagine what would happen if they take him away. I wanted to work and help him pay the debt but he wouldn't let me. He asked me to finish my studies. I can't just sit in the house and do nothing about it. I'm the eldest in the house. Everyone else is too young to understand. I can't talk about this with anyone. I'm tired of keeping it all to myself"

          I lost control and cried helplessly. I've been trying to keep it inside but I can't anymore. I just wanted all the burden to disappear. I know it's stupid to run away from home, I know running away is not the answer. I just needed to do something besides doing nothing in the house. I'm keeping up with my studies. I have been able to maintain my scores. Why can't my dad understand that I can help him? I don't want to feel useless in the house. The old man listened to my woes and sorrows. He did not do much talking. He just listened and wanted me to pour everything out. When I was done, he asked me where do I live. He looked at his watch and asked me when do I plan to go back home?

          If I could, I don't want to get back home. What use would it be? The problem would still bother me. I told the old man that I need to clear my head. He asked me to follow him. We took a drive to the beach. He sat next to me without saying anything. He asked me to listen to the sound of waves. I closed my eyes and listened to it intently. It brought peace to my heart. I could listen to it all day long and not get tired of it. Then he asked me to lie down and look at the stars above. I felt like a child. For once, I'm following orders instead of giving one. The stars were a pretty sight to behold. Without understanding why, my heart was morose again.

"Don't hold back the tears, my child. No one's here. Just let it out"

          Like magic, those words broke the dam on my eyes. I know crying does not solve the problem. I just feel so tired, that's all. I am not the crying type. I don't even cry after watching Petronas commercials or a sad sappy movie. That night, it seemed my eyes were haunted by the ghost of tears. I could not stop crying. After some time, I got tired of crying. I felt like sleeping. The night was cold and the stars were like blankets to me. The old man shook my body before I could fall asleep. He invited me to sleep over at his house. I rejected the offer, not wanting to be a burden to him. I could just sleep at the mosque anyway. He told me that no one dared to sleep at the mosque after an incident. I stopped him and accepted the offer to sleep at his house instead.

          He told me that he'll drive me back to my house before Subuh prayer. Again, I refused to be a burden to him. I could just ride on the bus again tomorrow. He insisted on doing so because he did not want me to miss class. He would send me just in time to be ready for school. I think he forgot the fact that I would be beaten to death by my father first. That would make me be late for school anyway. I'm not in a rush to be beaten for good. As soon as I put my head on the pillow, I fell into slumber. The tears probably drained my energy away. I dreamed of my family that night. All of us, eating on the table. I was so happy in the dream. As if the problem went away.

          I was awoken by the old man at 3 am. He brought me to the mosque for Tahajjud prayer and drove me back to my hometown right after that. I was quiet throughout the journey. Finding courage to face my parents I guess. We reached my hometown just in time for Subuh prayer. I showed the old man the nearest mosque to my house. We prayed and guess what? My father was the Imaam. After prayer he saw me and I was scared to death. The old man shook hands with him and talked. After they talked, the old man went to me and gave his last advice. I said thank you to him endlessly for the help that he gave me. He invited me to come over for coffee next time. I said it's a promise. I owed him that much.

         Then, my father came to me and slapped my face. I deserved that. I stood still, letting him do more than just slapping. To my dismay, he hugged me instead. He told me how worried he was all night. He wanted to do a police report but I had to be missing for 24 hours before he could file any report. He brought me home and my mother was waiting at the door. I could not look at her face. I knew how disappointed she must be with me. As soon as I set foot on the ground, my mother came to me with tears in her eyes.

"Mak, Abang minta maaf" I bent down to her hands to seek forgiveness. She pulled her hands away and beat me instead. I let her heat me. I knew I deserved the beatings. She cried and told me that I will never be allowed to enter the house if I repeat this running away episode again. I agreed to the condition and just hugged her while begging for forgiveness. That day, I learned something new. I was gone for a few hours and that brought me to the road back to reality.

- THE END - 

Note from the author : It's been so long since I last wrote a short story. I hope this does not bring you to boredom. Teenagers are always on the pursuit of finding answers. In doing so, sometimes they took some actions that are perceived as being rebellious. Maybe they are being rebellious, but for what reason? No one would run away from a bed of roses. Some people return back to Allah, some people find answers at the wrong place. Whatever dilemma we have, we should always remember that we have the power to decide and choose which path to take. May all of my students be able to choose the right path no matter how troubled they become someday. 

Vocabulary Lesson #1

#1 - Describing happiness.

How are you feeling today? Euphoric! Try to use bombastic words in your essay to capture the marker's attention. Having wide vocabulary will bring your essay to a higher band. Here are a few idioms that can be used to describe happiness :

 If you need further elaboration on the idioms, watch this video : Happy Idioms 

Example of sentences that describe happiness :-

1) I feel jubilant after winning the Debate Tournament.
2) I speak about my dream of living in Utopia because I crave to feel euphoria.
3) You speak of felicity like it's surreal. Intense happiness is real.
4) Her face lit up with impish glee.
5) The declaration of peace is indeed cause for our great elation.
6) There was a look of ecstasy on his face.
7) She gazed at him in rapture.
8) She beams with exaltation after receiving the scroll of degree.
9) The concert was filled with giddily exuberant crowds.
10) She was in jovial mood.

I will be very jolly if you use any of these expressions in your essay :) That's all for today! See you in the next post.

Mrs Doubtfire

There's been endless programs in the school, so I have not been able to continue my movie night with the F5s. Thankfully, last Saturday I decided to proceed with Movie Night even though they need to study for Formative 1. I strongly believe that taking a break for two hours from studying is a needed break and healthy at times. Non-stop studying can cause depression - All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. Those who wanted to take a break came and watched the movie, the rest studied in their dormitories.

Here are the questions for last week's movie night :-

1) Is it important to have both a mother and father in the house? Explain.

2) Do you like the ending of the movie? Why?

3) If you are the director of the movie, how would you end the movie?

Bear in mind that this is a movie review. The questions that I gave should be answered based on the input that you get after watching the movie. It's also good if you could answer based on your personal experience besides the forthcoming input that you get from the movie. I had a good laugh watching this with the F5s. Only 7 of them watched the movie till the end. The rest were too tired from the Nuqaba' program the whole day. It's okay, at least you guys tried :) Can't wait for the next movie night. 

The Person Standing in front of You

The person standing in front of you

Has gone through ups and downs

Before she was able to stand there

Years of learning, countless times of crying, sleepless nights..

Those were all the basic ingredients

Going through failure, being told that she's not good,

Those too were the spices

The person standing in front of you

Has high hopes in each and every one of you

She sees potential in her students

She only wants a bright future for them

And there she stands

Trying to guide you to the top

Holding your hand so you wouldn't fall

Helping you to go through the tide

The person standing in front of you

Greets you with a smile every day

Even though she's hurting,

Even though she's crying inside

She stands before you

To share the knowledge that she has

She hides her disappointment

She stops her tears from falling

She speaks as if nothing happened

The person standing in front of you

Has a heart

Her silence meant more than you'll ever know

She feels but pretends to be fine

Because she knows..

Nothing changes even if they knew

The person standing in front of you

Have you ever thought about her feelings?

Maybe your world doesn't change

Even if she disappears from your life

But you meant the world to her

You are all her reason to get up every day

She prays for you silently

And always hope that you would be better

The person standing in front of you

Won't be there forever

Someday you will wake up

And no longer hear her nagging

Before that days comes, 

Don't have regrets in your heart

For the words you didn't say,

For the memories you didn't create

For the mistakes you didn't change

Yasmin Mogahed

There’s salvation in admitting defeat.
The peace of prostration.
Just stay still in that position,
With your head lowered.
Freeze.
Wait.
Stay humbled.
Wait.
Stay lowered. Until He raises you.
They’ve searched the world
for what can be found in the quietest corners of a room.
They search a million words for what can only be found in silence.
They create a million names for the nameless.
For what can only be found in wordless thought.
Nameless states.
Stop letting it own you.
Let it go.
Let it go for Him and He will honor you.
He will raise you.
I looked on every street corner,
Inside every store window,
In and through both heartache and beauty,
Inside the story within the story,
Behind the sheet music.
Names. We’re always looking for names.
We try to name all of it.
We think that if only we could name each chain,
they would all break.

Maybe I need to live between.
Between the words, the heart,
the space between earth and sky.
Maybe I could live there.
In the space between knowledge and understanding.
Between love and letting go.
In the place where it stops hurting to be so far away.
The place where you’re already there.
In the nameless.
He said, “She feels like a habit I’ll never break.”
Break.
Break, so you can break.
The strong fall so they can stand.
Fall.
There’s salvation in admitting defeat.
Adam (AS) admit defeat.
Yunus (AS) admit defeat.
Nuh (AS) admit defeat.
Ayoub (AS) admit defeat.
Muhammad (SAW) admit defeat.
How can you claim to be strong? --Yasmin Mogahed, "Reclaim Your Heart"

If you haven't heard of the name Yasmin Mogahed, you should start searching for her videos on YouTube. I always find her lectures close to my heart because she talks about things that we go through on daily basis. Attachment especially. Look her up and enjoy her lectures. You won't regret it.

Twitter?

If you have a twitter account, you need to follow these Educational account and learn something while scrolling down your timeline. You guys are a lucky bunch, being able to live in a time where knowledge comes by easily. Grab this opportunity and follow these accounts if you want to be better in English. You will learn some new words, idioms and even be able to answer SAT quiz (which is totally cool). There are many other interesting educational accounts too, of course. Do share with me if you are following any other English related account. I'd love to check them out too :)

Okay, so @Dictionarycom is a virtual dictionary. Not one where you can find the meaning of some words, but one where you can learn new words from.

@ElitePrepSAT gives you questions that will prepare you for SAT quiz. They are mostly high level grammar questions. Try to answer them before seeing the answer.

@englishjer is an account run by @anwarhadi. If you don't know him, that means you don't hangout around YouTube that much. He's a vlogger. You might wanna check him out if you wanna know what does vlogger mean.

@The-YUNiversity is my favourite account! They give you lots of idioms and grammar explanations. I learn a lot from their tweets.

Alright, so do check them out and follow their account. Even though I'm a teacher, I never stopped finding opportunities to learn something new every day. There are so many things to discover in a language, you can't practically cover everything within your schooling years. Take my advice, follow these accounts and learn something new every day. If you find them helpful, alhamdulillah. If not, you may unfollow them any time you want. That's all for now. May peace be upon you!